One Night in Winter
by NocturneBlack
Summary: "What are you thinking?" she asks, and her words are soft and tentative, her breath is visible in the space between their lips. "I might be falling in love with you," he replies earnestly, his hazel eyes boring into hers, unblinking, giving up every feeling that stirs within his heart for her. L/J. One-shot.


It is equal parts terrifying and thrilling to not know where you are going. Lily realizes this all at once in both the literal and metaphorical sense as she follows her boyfriend into the cold night air and the falling snow. She grasps his hand as he leads her, trudging through the thick white blanket of snow that coats the ground just outside the Potter's large and impressive house. It is dark and the wind whips around her fiercely, causing her crimson hair to obscure her vision. He won't tell her where he's taking her, only saying that it'll be worth the trek in the bitter wind. She trusts James, of course, but there is still a pang of fear in her heart, a fear of the dark (and, to her, unknown) forest that sprawls out behind the house, a forest James seems to be heading toward.

He illuminates his wand to better see what is in front of him, though the moonlight reflecting off the stark white snow provides a decent source of light. Lily quickens her pace so that she is walking beside him, so that she can look at his face. His skin is pale and soft, his eyes dark, sharp, and burning with life. The moonlight bounces off the angles of his face as he turns to look at her. He smiles softly.

"I still can't really believe you're here, you know," he says to her.

She smirks. "It is pretty wild, isn't it?"

She had told her mother she was going to Marlene's for a late Christmas party, knowing her mum would never let her stay the night at her boyfriend's house. Although Lily had met Mr. and Mrs. Potter earlier that day (to James's delight), they had left an hour previous for a wedding and would be out of town for the next two days. Lily feels a dose of excitement stir within her as she thinks about spending the night with James, alone in his bedroom.

"Where exactly are you taking me?" she inquires for the third time.

He grins and lets out a laugh. "It's not a surprise if I tell you, love."

Lily rolls her eyes, a smile on her face. She ponders the situation they are in, and finds it curious how similar it is to their relationship. They had been dating since October, and while Lily is happier than she has been in years, she does not feel as though she has a grasp on the future of their relationship. It is their last year at Hogwarts; she does not know whether or not they are to be a part of one another's futures. Life outside Hogwarts looms before them like the dark forest that they enter, full of the unknown and the possibility of danger.

She clings to his arm as they walk through the forest. There are tall, barren trees on either side of the trodden path they travel. She experiences the familiar mixture of nervousness and excitement that she often feels when with James. It is a positively thrilling way to feel, making her aware of her heartbeat, aware of the life coursing through both her and James's veins.

He stops when they reach a small frozen pond in the midst of a clearing. He raises his wand and a stream of fairy lights shoot from the tip, falling on the bare branches of the trees that surround the clearing. Lily is positively grinning.

"Take off your shoes," he says. "So I can transfigure them into ice skates," he adds at her perplexed look. She does as he asks and he effortlessly turns her snow boots into a pair of skates. He does the same to his own boots and takes her hand in his. Once they have put their skates on he steps onto the ice, Lily following.

"Are you sure it's safe?" she asks wearily.

"Sirius and I tested it out the other day, don't worry."

She doesn't ask what this "test" involved, knowing it was likely highly dangerous.

She keeps her hand in his as they skate around the ice. She laughs when he nearly falls, and they quickly discover that she is the superior skater.

"What happened to the graceful Chaser and Quidditch Captain extraordinaire James Potter?" she teases.

"Oh you think you're funny, do you?" he asks, a challenging grin on his face, and wraps his arms around her waist securely. She knows what he is thinking and tries to stop him, saying, "No, James, wait—" but it is too late. He pulls her down to the snow bank that flanks the edge of the pond, his arms still around her.

She pretends to be angry with him, but she is laughing and laughing with him as he rolls them around in the snow.

"Cold!" she shouts through her laughter, "It's freezing! You're mad, James Potter!"

He is on top of her, and he looks down at her laughing and gleeful face, so pure and lovely in the snow. "Do you need to be warmed up?" he asks, his voice low as he slowly moves his hand to her thick scarf, moving it slightly to expose the skin of her neck. He kisses the exposed skin, and she sighs softly. She is always surprised how easy it is for him to reduce her to the state of being unable to form coherent words. His hands cup her face and he looks into her starry green eyes, eyes that wait for him to speak the words that hang in the air between them like fragile icicles hanging from the trees that tower above them.

He pauses, and she wonders why he neither kisses her nor speaks.

"What are you thinking?" she asks, and her words are soft and tentative, her breath is visible in the space between their lips.

"I might be falling in love with you," he replies earnestly, his hazel eyes boring into hers, unblinking, giving up every feeling that stirs within his heart for her.

The snow falls around them and Lily feels her eyes growing wet, both with the thought that this boy could love her and the thought that a year from now he might not even be in her life.

"Good," she replies, wanting to repeat the words but unsure how so she kisses him instead, his lips warm and soft and inviting. She kisses him until she no longer thinks about the future and the uncertainty that lay ahead of them. She kisses him until the only thought in her head is _James _and until she no longer feels the cold of the snow that is seeping through her heavy coat and onto the fabric of her jumper. James moves his hand under her jumper, slowly and with hesitance. She runs her hands through his hair and deepens their kiss as his hands find the warmth of the bare skin of her abdomen. His hands move higher until they are at her breasts, skimming over the lace of her bra. She moans against his mouth and breaks away for air. His lips return to her throat while his hands make her forget where she is.

He pulls away from her as his hands leave her breasts and fix her jumper. He looks at her and asks if she'd like to go back to the house. She nods. He quickly vanishes the fairy lights and transfigures their skates back into boots. They move through the forest and quickly find themselves back at the expansive house. They remove their boots and coats at the door and move in to the kitchen, where James goes about making them tea.

"James," she starts as he sets the tea before her, choosing her words slowly, "what are you planning on doing when school ends?"

"I don't know yet. Everything is different, isn't it? Because of the war," he answers. "I've heard…rumors. About groups that are directly fighting Voldemort. I don't know if it's true, but apparently Dumbledore is involved with one. I think I'd like to join them, if I can."

She stares at him, taken aback. Although she knows that James believes in Muggle and Muggleborn rights just as much as she does, she hadn't know that he had wanted to take such a direct role in the war. She stares at him, not quite sure what to say.

"Lily, look," he continues, reaching across the table and taking her hand, "with the war, I don't know what the world, our world, is going to be like in a few months. I don't know what I'm going to be doing when school ends. But I know that I need to do something to stop him. And I know that I want you by my side."

Her heart is filled with a fire, burning with pride and love for the boy sitting across from her and holding her hand in his.

She nods, "That's what I want for us, James."

He leans across the table and kisses her, a soft and heady kiss that slowly accumulates into something more heated. She breaks apart from him and stares in to his eyes.

"Can we go to your room now?"

He smiles at her before pulling her by the hand and practically running up to his room with her in tow.

A while later they lie in his bed, the warmth between their naked bodies radiating between them as Lily listens to the heartbeat beneath James's chest. She glances up at him to find his bright eyes watching her intently. She does not look away.

"I love you," she says, just barely above a whisper, and the words hang in the air of the room, filling up the space and reverberating off of every surface until they crash in to him, filling him with light.

"I love you too, Lily," he says to her and kisses her, softly and slowly, savoring the feeling of her lips against his, her body against his.

For the second time that night, Lily experiences two conflicting emotions. She is happy; she is sure of it. The boy lying beneath her is undeniably responsible for that, and the warmth that stems from him and envelops her is proof of this. But she is also scared; scared of uncertainty, scared of what the future will bring, scared of the war and death. As his lips find hers again, her fear diminishes. _Everything will be alright_, she thinks, _everything will be alright as long as we're together_.

James wakes up to the sun's rays pouring through his bedroom window, and smiles at the curtain of red hair that is splayed across his chest. He pauses to relish this moment. For a moment he worries about nothing, cares about nothing but her, and does not fear the layer of death that has been slowly descending over their daily lives. Here, alone, with her, there is no war. There is no need to worry about the time they have left at school, the time left until they are pushed unceremoniously in to the real world. There is time. There is everything of meaning lying before him and then there is nothing all at once; nothing but the comfort of lying in bed with her.


End file.
